When Fear Rises, Don’t Fight Back.
The other day I got some feedback that didn’t fully resonate with me. The moment, I was able to distance myself from the feedback, I saw in my mind and felt in my body, that my friend, fear was waking up and trying to get my attention. I watched for a bit and listened for the thoughts that I knew would follow. I moved through the kitchen pouring my coffee and preparing my oatmeal. By the time I settled at the kitchen table to dive into my breakfast, fear, and resistance in the fullness of their form and expression were with me too. As they struggled for my attention, I took space in my mind and contemplated how the situation would unfold. I knew first hand what it would look like if I let them convince me that my goals and efforts were worthless; that it was too scary to show up and create. I also knew firsthand how liberating it was to respectfully choose to move beyond them and press on regardless. You know, feel the fear and do it anyway.
As I finished my breakfast and made my way into the next part of my morning rituals of journaling and yoga, I decided that I would try something that Elizabeth Gilbert recommended to her readers in Big Magic — I would create space for fear by acknowledging it, allowing it to voice its concerns and then respectfully encourage it to take a back seat. And I did. Pen to paper, here is what I wrote:
“Fear is rising again and I need to be wise with my response to it. I acknowledge you and all of the disempowering beliefs that are rising with you. I see that you want my attention and I get that you believe you have reason to be scared. It’s natural to feel this way when there is so much unknown about what is to come. Yet there is so much to learn… This journey requires us to step out of our comfort zones and it requires our friend’s courage and creativity to lead us. I know you may not trust them right now but I promise that everything is okay. This is not a life-and-death situation; this is an adventure, an experiment; this is a time for us to play and be curious. Can we focus on all the good that is unfolding? Can we trust creativity and inspiration to guide us?”
After I addressed the fears, I affirmed myself and expressed gratitude for the journey and for fear itself. When I moved into my yoga practice, I was further grounded and the fear calmed down. I was proud and grateful that this worked.
I never imagined that I’d have compassion for the one thing I felt always held me back. But like Gilbert, I realized that we can’t go to war with ourselves and the emotions that have been intelligently designed and given to us with purpose. When we fight fear, it fights back and many times it leaves us drained and in paralysis. “This is why we have to be careful of how we handle our fear — because I’ve noticed that when people try and kill off their fear they often end up inadvertently murdering their creativity in the process. ” (Elizabeth Gilbert, Big Magic, p24). Duly noted.
