How I Activated My Creative Flow
As this week comes to an end, I am wrapping the release of my first visual campaign, ‘An Ode To Black Love: Exploring The Healing and Union of The Black Feminine and Black Masculine’. This project intended to create a visual series that could speak to the deep desire for more images and real-life examples of healthy Black love in our culture. I am grateful to say that this project was well received by my peers and community of fellow creatives. Now that it’s alive and in the public domain, I pray it continues to travel through the digital and physical space, reaching new eyes and hearts, inspiring POC, BIPOC, and non-BIPOC folk alike to imagine what a new vision of love can look like in today’s culture.
Before I move onward to my next creative endeavour, I want to honour and acknowledge the process that I went through to get here because this has been a work in the making; one that has taken me many years to show up to for. If you are an artist or creative working through your process you can probably relate.
I also want to mention that this is a huge contrast from where I started about four months ago when I was newly laid off and feeling extremely anxious about everything. As much as, I recognized that that would be an opportunity to truly focus on my creativity and personal pursuits, I was also nervous because I didn’t know what to expect from being unemployed. So I naturally, found myself stressed about how I was going to meet my financial goals and when I would secure my next job. After a few weeks of calming my anxiety, I decided to trust the process and set an intention to use this time to be fully committed to bringing my creative projects to life.
Fast forward to the present day where I can proudly celebrate myself because I have achieved so much more in the past quarter than I have over the past few years. So what did I do differently? How did I manage to zone in and create when I had spent so many years prior feeling blocked and scared? How did I put all of my anxiety to the side and stay committed?
01/ The Pandemic Made Me Do It
It’s sad but true. I found a silver lining in the pandemic — all of the loss and trauma that we have experienced collectively and individually became a motivator for me. I believe it’s because death and disruption have a very sobering effect on us which can propel us into action if we allow them. And so, I allowed it. I let the disruption of our reality remind me of what is important to me; the dreams and goals I’ve been holding out on, the people who were important to me and the people who were not.
Also, being locked up at home forced me to face my boredom, my fears, and my dissatisfaction with life. Which also brought me into a place of discomfort. I didn’t know how to handle boredom at first especially because I was always on the go with work and play. When I did have free time, I preferred to rest (which I am an advocate for) or binge-watch a Netflix series but I hardly used it to consistently tackle my own goals. Being stuck at home forced me to tackle my boredom head-on and create a productive routine and pandemic lifestyle that supported my creative practice and created space for me to actualize my goals.
02 / I Got Tired of Being A Shadow Artist
I didn’t realize it at first, but I was experiencing resentment towards myself for the many years of hiding and being afraid; it started to show up through resistance to other projects. As much as I aligned with the work I was collaborating on and as much as I loved the teams I was apart of, there was a part of me that felt incomplete and agitated. And that agitation with myself started to get louder and louder; it was begging me to commit to myself.
When I got laid off, I knew this was going to be the time that I desperately needed and that it was to be taken seriously. So, I harnessed the energy bubbling from my realizations around the pandemic, the resentment I was feeling about my inaction and my over-investment in others, and I allowed it to be a constant reminder every day to stay focused. I would remind myself that the time I have is precious and that I won’t get another opportunity like this when this is all over. The more I showed up, the more I started to get clear about what I would create during this time and the more I built towards it.
03/ I Invested In A Personal Coach
By the end of my first month unemployed, I started to feel a lot of my fears and doubt come up; they were very aggressive. I needed help and I knew I needed it to be from a mentor or someone who could guide me; whether it was from a book or a podcast or someone in my life. And like I often do, I set another intention to manifest guidance in my life. Not too long after, I noticed that a new relationship started to blossom with a woman and visionary whose work already inspired me. Our introduction and dynamic was synchronistic. After connecting with her on a few occasions to talk through my challenges, I sensed a trust and resonance with her. I believed I could trust her and that she was genuinely holding space for me. I had never experienced that before, especially from a coach. The way it all aligned led me to believe that this was the support I was asking for and so I took the leap.
Hiring a personal coach is a BIG commitment and I think oftentimes people enlist the help of coaches and mentors without being ready for it or willing to do the work required. The climate in my life was ripe for extra support. I was overdue for an accountability partner and was restless to finally give birth to my creative brainchild. In hindsight, our work together has proven that this was an investment well made. I truly believe in the value of having a coach, mentor, or therapist and recommend that if you need someone outside your circle to give you an objective lense that you seek support. It makes a difference to know that you’re not alone and that you have someone grounding and guiding you through the mental, emotional, and physical blocks that may be holding you back on your journey.
04/ I Shared With The World
Being fed up and acknowledging that I wasn’t living my life and dreams to the fullest were major factors that brought me to my transition point. Having a coach to help me identify my blocks, values, vision, and execution plan also brought tangible tools to the table. However, the most tangible and integral aspect of my growth over the past few months has been the fact that I released something into the world.
After I shared my first blog post and got feedback from so many people that I respect in my community, I was inspired and affirmed. As a result, my confidence and self-trust grew. Even though the work wasn’t perfect, it was created and I shared it with the world with good intention. And that’s all I’ve ever wanted, to create good work — work that inspires, resonates, and flows from my very authentic experience of life, wellness, and creativity. Being able to see that it was possible and my work was being received really encouraged me keep going.
I didn’t quit when it got hard or I felt super unmotivated, even though I wanted very badly at one point. I kept showing up and building momentum, post by post, regardless of the feedback or engagement. And now I’m on to my sixth week of showing up consistently for myself and the impact that this is having on me is beyond what I expected. It’s infusing me with energy and excitement to keep creating for the sake of creating and has been a part of the confidence and courage that I mustered to create An Ode To Black Love in the first place.
So again, I just want to say much love to each of you who have taken the time to read my writing, share my work, and give me feedback. It all matters and it part of the reason why I’m still at it.
