Bouncing Back When You Feel Unmotivated
I know that we all go through moments when we feel off, unmotivated, and resist the work we need or want to do. I was experiencing one of those moments myself last week. I was having the hardest time tapping into my creativity and getting things accomplished. After a full week like this, I decided I had had enough and needed to lean back into my routine and the practices that I knew would get me back in alignment. So, I figured that since this wasn’t my first rodeo going through a rut like this that I would share some insight around the key things that I needed to reinforce in order to shift my energy, mindset, and productivity last week. I’m hoping this may be especially helpful since we’re still going through a tough time with the pandemic and being creative or efficient with our time is even more challenging. So here are three key things I’ve been focusing on to help me bounce back from a truly unmotivating week.
01 / Don’t Let Your Emotions Dictate When You Show Up
Emotions are tricky. As someone who has let their emotions run them the majority of my life, this was a hard bond to break. Yes, emotions are real and there are so many times when our emotions are valid and just. But, I can’t help but call out the fact that emotions can be so complex and deceiving at times that they don’t always help you make the wisest decisions. I’m sure there are so many examples of this in your life. For me, I think about examples where my emotions influenced me to procrastinate because I’m bored or not inspired; only to later end up piling on work and creating the pressure of back to back deadlines with little time to meet them.
Over the past month, I came to understand a new layer to this when I realized that being excited and passionate about an idea is a very temporary thing. Specifically, when you start taking steps towards bringing it to life and you’re in the thick of the logistics or the designing of something and you realize your excitement isn’t there anymore.
I thought that only happens with work that you don’t feel connected to or isn’t your own. I mean, I’ve witnessed and experienced that first hand. But I didn’t expect this to be the case for my own creative journey. It’s pretty discouraging when you’ve spent five-plus years being super passionate (but scared) of creating something and then you finally start putting action behind it and poof, the motivation is nowhere to be found. I knew that things would be challenging but maybe I naively expected that a good flow of energy and passion would be with me every day I worked on it. But I’m learning that’s not the reality of the creative process. Just because you’re passionate about something doesn’t mean you’ll always be drawn to doing the work for it. In times like that, you need to tap into discipline and willpower in order to keep going forward. Because waiting to be excited and motivated before you take the next step to create something is not sustainable if you plan on bringing anything to life. Neither is being in the mood to do the work. Next time you find yourself saying “I’m not feeling it” try and remember that listening to your feelings will set you back. So press on knowing that the reward comes when you keep showing up, no matter how you feel.
02 / Discipline Is Your Friend
This brings me to the next thing I needed to engage in — discipline.
A wise woman who coaches me told me that it’s normal not to love every part of the process at first. And a wise spiritual teacher also told me that I can pray to fall more in love with the parts of the process that don’t come naturally to me. In their way, both of them confirmed and reminded me that creativity isn’t always full of excitement and inspiration. In order to stay committed to my vision, I’m going to need to cultivate discipline. Immediately, being reminded of those things felt hard, especially because I felt like I had been missing out on self-discipline for so long. I didn’t know how to hold myself accountable unless it helped me feel good. That is not sustainable if you’re trying to grow. It also didn’t help that I had an aversion to the word discipline because the only discipline I learned growing up was not a good thing, it was punishment for not listening or doing something bad. Because of that, I knew that I had to learn about self-discipline and reframe it so that I could recognize the benefits and apply them to my life.
Learning how to apply it meant that I had to be honest about the ways I was self-sabotaging and engaging in bad habits. It also required me to re-parent myself and lovingly remind myself that choosing or not choosing to do ‘XYZ’ would have consequences. This created a new internal authority and parent-child dynamic which I was nurturing to help me hold myself to a new standard. The rewarding part was that as I started showing up more, especially in the times when it felt the hardest, I felt the most pride and satisfaction with myself. To be sure I was celebrating I would make a point to physically write about how I worked through the process. I found that documenting and reliving the pride and confidence I gained helped me to drive home the positive reinforcement and build a mental connection in a way that could help me in the future.
Over time, as I teach myself how to zone in and focus I’m noticing that I’m losing my aversion to the idea of self-discipline. And although my relationship with it is a work in progress, it’s proving to be very fruitful as I check off more goals and ideas. I’m learning to respect discipline as the inner authority and give it space to led when I notice resistance rearing its head.
03 / Unblock Your Flow
Lastly, I’ve been learning that when you’re in a low energy state and feeling blocked there are ways to recharge and unblock your creative flow. Feeling blocked can show up mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically and so it’s helpful to get a sense for where the block is occurring. For me, these blocks often start to form in my mind through limiting beliefs and then they show up in my body. For example, I might be resisting trying something new or scary and then after overthinking it I find my body starts to get really lazy and I end up binge watching something on the couch. When I get like this I start to hear a small voice in my head encouraging me to move. So, I listen to it but I start small and build back my momentum and positive energy by doing a short yoga practice or going for a walk. Those simple movements start to release the low energy that’s lingering and help shift my mood and mindset. So now when I’m in a funk, I’m trying my best to remember this and to push through knowing that not only am I able to help my fitness by working out or moving my body, I am actually moving stagnant energy through and encouraging flow.
Other things that support me in unblocking myself, are to free-flow my thoughts onto paper with a stream of conscience exercise. I just let my thoughts pour out, whether or not they make sense. I don’t pause to read them or erase errors. I just keep writing for about a page or three. This is also known to many as the morning pages and is something I learned from Julia Cameron’s book, The Artist’s Way. Cameron teaches that morning pages are a way to unblock the artist inside by clearing away the chatter of the monkey mind, along with all of the doubt, fear, and unresolved thoughts that can potentially get in the way of your creative flow and energy throughout the day. It definitely works for me. I also find that using my morning pages is a way for me to let out all of the complaining or self-loathing that starts to build when I’ve been in a rut long enough. Instead of venting to friends about how stuck I am, I can let it out on paper instead of ruminating in it. This gives me the time to reflect, release and even reset my intentions and focus.
Speaking of intentions — one of my intentions around my creative work is to do work for myself before doing work for other people. And this has been another practice that supports me, mainly in a preventative way so I don’t get all blocked up. The reason being is that when I’m able to apply fresh energy to my creative work at the top of the day, instead of trying to squeeze the last bit of energy that I have at the end of the day I find myself able to flow better. It helps me avoid resentment or feelings of dissatisfaction and unfulfillment because I’m putting my dreams and priorities first.
I understand and respect that this may be hard to do for most people, especially when working a full-time nine to five but with enough planning and more time carved out for yourself in the morning, it is possible and proves to be beneficial. Actually, I think that’s what the five am club people have figured out. For me, it has contributed to me feeling more fulfilled and invested in myself, which is something I used to lack. Now, I think about it the same way I think about money, you pay yourself first.
All in all, there are days where no matter what you do it takes a lot of energy for you to get into your flow and you find yourself just riding it out until you can’t take it anymore. When you get to that point I encourage you to dig deep and remember that every rut is an opportunity to practice self-discipline, build consistency, and perfect your bounce-back game so you can get back into the flow.
